So, after hearing the opinions of a couple of different friends and family members, I've finally decided what I'm going to do with this blog. I was originally going to use it to help me open up about the feelings I have about the loss of my dad. I have now decided that only the happy memories and random thoughts will be posted on here. One friend told me that writing all of your thoughts down has been scientifically proven to be therapeutic, so more personal and angrier thoughts will be written in a journal.
One thing that I can't help but wonder is if my dad was ever angry with me for moving to Arizona straight out of high school. Was that his reasoning for hating Phoenix so much? Did he think Phoenix stole his daughter away from him? As much as I love living down here, I probably won't live here forever. Jay has been trying to convince me to move for quite a while now. But no matter where the Lord takes me, Idaho will always be my home. I just hope Dad realized that.
Being home last week did make me realize just how much I miss all my family and friends. Which was another reason for starting this blog. So friends and family can follow all the happenings of the Noriega household without me having to make millions of phone calls. :-)
If you have any thoughts, leave them for me in the comments or send me an e-mail.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Finally sinking in...
It's been nine days since I received the tragic phone call, but I don't think the information fully sank in until tonight that my dad is really gone. Never again will I hear his deep, booming voice. Never again will I hear the click of his boots on the floor.
I laid down to go to bed about midnight tonight, but I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned and cried for over an hour. It's now 2:30am and I find myself sitting at the computer. For the past nine days I've walked around like a zombie. My husband, Jay, has been asking me over and over what I'm thinking about. I've never really been all that great at expressing my feelings out loud. But I know it's unhealthy to keep them all bottled up inside of me. I've found in the past that writing my feelings down has sometimes helped. But after writing everything down, are the feelings still all bottled up if I don't let someone else read them?
I laid down to go to bed about midnight tonight, but I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned and cried for over an hour. It's now 2:30am and I find myself sitting at the computer. For the past nine days I've walked around like a zombie. My husband, Jay, has been asking me over and over what I'm thinking about. I've never really been all that great at expressing my feelings out loud. But I know it's unhealthy to keep them all bottled up inside of me. I've found in the past that writing my feelings down has sometimes helped. But after writing everything down, are the feelings still all bottled up if I don't let someone else read them?
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